Hmmm...that's not good, is it? :D

You Are a Contradiction

People accuse you of having a split personality, and it's completely true.

There are two completely different sides to you - as opposite as night and day.

At times, you are highly social and gregarious. But sometimes you can be the biggest loner around.

Sometimes you are serious and studious, but other times you are carefree and wild. You're hard to predict!

Reading For Life...

So I passed the test. The driving test that is. Not the send-up test for my N.E.W.T.s. Cause that hasn't happened yet...they have a penchant to be delayed ever so often  =] I predicted...M failed...horribly. :) Not that it was hard...she just can't drive. :p
She was all boo-hoo on the way back and one of the officers saw her and told the DSP and he called dad and said to meet him next time. Maybe he'll fail her again...but I mustn't get my hopes up...
Now that i've passed, maybe mum n dad will buy me a car...!
This one maybe?

Anyway...we're freed from college early on Mondays, so today i headed off to the reading room. And it turned out that the 2nd year students had a major biochem test coming up so it was absolutely packed! We weren'y givin up so easily though. F and I spotted a mangled chair with its cushions intact, so we dragged it into a corner unceremoniously and sat down to study.

That is till the power went out.

Now bear in mind that this is King Edward we're talking about. A transformer had gone beserk. And though Mayo has more than two direct supplies from the grid... it still took them over an hour to fix it.
The weather was better today though. More clouds, less humidity. Should happen more often :(

F ditched me then. He went off to the hostel where they were premiering their very own version of "Pirates". Don't ask.

2 hours into the fray and the person next to me was begining to smell strongly of Pullao..(M calls it "bridge come"..Pull...Aao..get it? :) and that was when the salivary glands i was trying to study went into overdrive. I sniffed hungrily once or twice and he looked at me kinda strange! And then he produced a lunch box from his desk (filled with Pullao of course) and proceeded to eat it right under my nose.
Needless to say, I had to leave. Or he would've been Pullao-less in a jiffy.

A final survey of the reading room as I left: 25 out of the 40 people there were sleeping. Out of the 15 who were awake, 3 were reading novels; Lord of the rings, The Digital Fortress and Eclipse???!!! (i might be mistaken). The one reading about Gandalf turned it into a pillow seconds join the overwhelming majority. 3 more were surfing face book on their lap tops. while the rest were all fixed in the same position; a book in their lap, both feet on the table, chair reclined, an array of high-lighters in one hand while the other attempted to smooth out the creases forming on their foreheads as they struggled to figure out the mysteries of life.

we should welcome death. 
we should rejoice 
that the person has made it from this world,
living as good a life as can be. 
we should weep 
but our tears should be of joy,
not remorse. 
we should honour them
and the things they did in this world 
and strive to do the same. 

we should welcome death as we welcome the rain. 
we know it'll put a temporary stop to things, 
but we remember the weather before it. 
we remember the last rain like it. 
we watch the rain drops split.
we watch as they journey,
all to the same place.
we know they will rise again

we watch as it descends in sheets and torrents 
leaving everything fresh and nascent.
signifying something greater than just 
something higher than we can comprehend. 
something so elusive, so obscure 
we dare nor pursue as it flashes past 
and leaves us swaying in its wake.


Death and Dying II

Verse, Fame and beauty are intense indeed,

But Death intenser – Death is life's high mead
It was M2's first time in an airplane, ten years back.
"Ami. We're going to meet Dada Abu!
You said he was with Allah Mian...and Allah Mian is in the skies, isn't he?"
What is our death but a night's sleep? 
For as through sleep all weariness and faintness pass away and cease, 
and the powers of the spirit come back again, 
so that in the morning we arise fresh and strong and joyous; 
so at the Last Day we shall rise again as if we had only slept a night, 
and shall be fresh and strong.
Martin Luther

Death is all around us. Even then its strange. Strange in the fact that you can never really be ready for it. And when it has come and gone, you realize there exists a new link. A passage between two worlds. A perpetual shift in time. Suddenly words are no longer necessary. The thoughts dwelling inside the folds of your mind no longer stay unobserved. Everything you think and do can be, and is to them alive.They are alive. And then there's relief. Relief that they know what went into everything you did and did not say.
It even gives the feeling that God is watching as always, and so are they.

My grandfather died this Friday.
"We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return."

Unfinished Business

The last day of the holidays. :(

That’s bad you know. Cause it means the very things I’ve been dreading all summer, are finally here…and I’m not ready. What to do…what to do???  Its so not fair…stages and send ups should be locked up in Moody’s trunk and HAZMAT stickers should be plastered all over it and trolls set to guard it with their life, or boogies rather. Or maybe a sphinx. Or hey hey….Sir Codagan! He’d do the trick all right!
Anywayyy. This is real bad. Suddenly I’m dreading college and all the things with it.

So I took this today.

It’s a glass bell jar kinda thingy I’m holding up to the light and it I thought it looked like an eye…

Oh and M and I’ve got our driving tests tomorrow…and hopefully me=pass of course...M=not so sure…read ‘bout her training sessions, in her own lingo, here ;-)

Angry. Bothered. Crazzzzy. That's my abc.

I like people quite well
At a little distance.
I like to see them passing and passing
And going their own way,
Especially if I see their aloneness alive in them.
Yet I don’t want them to come near.
If they will only leave me alone
I can still have the illusion that there is room enough in the world.



Mama Mia. Here we go again.
And here's what I get up too when I don't feel like writing on my own blog...
Enjoy :D

Mum just made doughnuts...i'm gonna go eat em....:-)

Of Days Gone...

Wrote this before the holidays, which incidentally are coming to a close...I didn’t get to go anywhere this summer... :(

I'm waiting for the holidays,
O i'm waiting so eagerly
i'm thinking of going snorkelling,
or trekking the globe maybe.

I'll take my compass with me,
and let it point the way
perhaps you'll come with me
but perhaps you'd be too scared.

I'd spend my days in bliss,
wandering from place to place
i'd take dozens of pics,
and develop 'em all by hand.

I'd see them pretty places,
and let them soothe my senses
i'd go around the world,
and i'd love it all the more.

And then the signs of wrath,
of calamities struck, disasters befall
and i'd learn the lesson from it all
and then be bad no more.

I'd return a wiser man,
though some may say a fool
"rather a fool to make me happy,
than experience to make me sad."

Awake! Arise!

I’ve been lying on my favorite couch by the window. A pen and paper in my hand I have, and more litter the floor, as I write and tear them off the pad. In the background plays, Abida Parveen’s “Nigah-e-Darwaishaan”.
M calls it my warming up.

I fell asleep right there after those lines. There were plenty more, believe me, but that was just crazy, malignant stuff you couldn’t make head or tail of. Reading that would have been like trying to imagine a plane that flies on solar juice. Possible, but only just. Yet they did it.
Anyways, I seem to be leaning more towards rhyme than reason.
Presented here, the latest:

Arise! Great Spirit! Lay back no more!
Your days of resentment must draw to a close.
The despair in your heart must conquer no more.
Even when all you can see,
Is the sea, but no shore!
Arise! There is news for you paramour!

It’s incomplete cause I got stuck. I still don’t know why I’m going on about nothing. Yet I dare not regress. I’ve taken to writing old fashioned style again. Your basic quill-parchment scenario. Got sick of staring at the screen all day. I’ll speech to text it when I’m done.

What’s In a Number?

2nd July. Dad
4th July. Mum
6th July. Me!

I’ve always liked this sequence of ours. Even if I don’t like birthdays. Not much at all. Especially when it’s mine. And there are certain *people* involved. Scary.
Ah’s not that bad. Everyone’s nice to you for a day. You get cake. And presents.

And another year to subtract from your life…

M2 made me a card.Its great and it kinda says it all. Thanks M. Love it. ;-)

Do you like it??? Shout out to M2 if you do! She’s waiting....;)

She’s written on my shirt…I love bossing people...Hahahahaha. :p And she added a Hogwarts emblem on the back….! In honour ov me getting the potter title at the welcome. Hah!

Can’t write a longer post, have a party to get back to…kidding 

All time High

WARNING: not for the weak hearted....seriously!

Surgery’s always exhilarating.
True, it wasn’t so the first time, which I vaguely remember to have fled when I started feeling woozy, too ashamed to admit it.

Yesterday there was a Maxillofacial Surgeon over from Islamabad. (He did his FCPS from my college too.) He was on volunteer work for two days here at Fazle-Omar Hospital (remembered your stance Alec :) which is run by the Community and provides free treatment to deserving patients. I’d met him before at the AMA convention, courtesy the orthodontist cousin (did I mention the wires on my teeth???), and he added me on Facebook! So he liked some of my work and we kept in touch.

So of I went to the OT! And I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to bore you with details. Patient no.1 had some calcification in his Wharton’s duct (of the sub-mandibular gland) and when he opened it up, it had damaged the gland too, so out it came. Gland excision with sialolithotomy. That’s the official name. Took pictures. Here you go, K.…proof I was indeed there :p (that's me in the blue scrubs).

And here's the gland itself:

The second had huge swelling in the Parotid region. But the procedure was long 4-5 hours at least…so they decided to it today.
And as luck would have it, I had to run back to Lahore today, some last minute issues, so I missed the 2nd surgery!!!  Still, I’ve got the pictures but there is however, a slight problem.

I’m afraid they are just not publishable.

Why not you may then ask?

Because it is interesting, but incredibly gross. Because they literally took half his face off! Just like in the Nicholas Cage movie! I will however show you the down-sized-de-colour-blooded version...

Dad says he was extremely good. You’d understand if ya saw all the pics. Wide excision, partial mandibulectomy with maxillectomy.

I’m so mad I missed out on this! :-(


He wants to cry,
But the tears, they come no more;
Every last drop, has dried up,
And taken with it,
all his hopes.

But cry he shall,
Tears, he’ll make himself.
Turning clear to red,
From living to dead,
Until he bleeds no more.


A license to drive,
To shoot,
To fly.

A license to heal,
To practice law,
A license for everything,
That I’d like to try.

But only one I have,
And I know not how,
How to use it well,
Maybe, this is how.

It’ll come to me,
If myself,
I lose in the flow,
If I breathe no more,
If my eyes,
I close once more,
And dream, and dream,
Till I dream no more.

And when I wake up,
A poetic license,
Would be all I’d need show.

a spur of the moment thingy cause i can't sleep and cause i learned 'bout guns today and cause Mom wouldn't let me drive cause there were too many "bobbies" around...*sigh*