i want to drain my mind of every last thread of thought that keeps worrying me. its like my head is filled with a buzzing so loud, its drowning out what everyone else's saying. i try to force it out. i screw up my eyes and force every iota of my being into ousting those terrible moments, not figments of my imagination, but of the real actual, stupid, cruel world that seem to be eating me up alive. somehow i can't even get halfaway up there. it's like a stubborn horse that wont yield. like a stalled car that won't start. like a solid door that won't budge. and that renders me helpless and with no other escape than to bang my head against the table----*thud*
I admit that my behaviour hasn't been up to the mark.
And were I confronted with something harder than a railway sleeper at that time, I would simply have run off.

Not that i was wrong.

I have delligently been trying to reinforce the contract and play along as the others so well do, but the the whole drama thing is getting to my mind and more often than i can afford to, I find myself veering on the edge of narcissism.

Is it me or.....

Like-minded friends
who're just as bitter as you,
are a gift God bestows
on a chosen few.
Could it be?
Have the wheels of fortune finally started to turn in my favour.....?
Will everything i touch turn to gold...?

The expected reaction from me, as always......humungous.
Wake them up before it's too late.

Even without saying the obvious, i have managed to convince Montoo that the results of the experiment could be hazardous for his health......and mine.
All that remains is to make sure he doesn't go behind my back.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)

Praise for The Twilight Saga:

"Meyer has, like one of her vampires, turned into something rare and more than merely human.... People do not want to just read Meyer's books; they want to climb inside them and live there." -Time

"Piles on the suspense and romance." -USA Today

"A literary phenomenon." -The New York Times

"[Stephenie Meyer is] the world's most popular vampire novelist since Anne Rice." -Entertainment Weekly

Fans of The Twilight Saga will be enthralled by this riveting story of Bree Tanner, a character first introduced in Eclipse, and the darker side of the newborn vampire world she inhabits. In another irresistible combination of danger, mystery, and romance, Stephenie Meyer tells the devastating story of Bree and the newborn army as they prepare to close in on Bella Swan and the Cullens, following their encounter to its unforgettable conclusion.

The season of rejuvenation and rebirth, greeneryflowersmosquitoes & lizards coming out of hidey holes.

The familiar ways that take you back home. The first glimpse of your house from far away. The hugs and kisses by your family. The first couple of days when no one orders you around. The tales you enjoy telling everyone.

Catching up with family and friends over, and I finally got the chance to relax a bit, hang out with friends, update my playlist, to watch the long list of movies that had been building up since January.

And of course, Facebook is one thing we daren’t miss even in the holidays; rather we’re more hooked to it than ever. The holiday spirit was blooming with the Sports Day looming ahead, there was plenty to talk about and comment…. (With the birthdays and all)….. and then the sharing of photos from the big day… (Alien anyone?)...But one’s thing for sure; the C.R.’s blood would’ve boiled had he seen the 1st April posts…..!

And even the luddites seemed to have taken the leap of faith and come out of their shells…………straight online.

More recently however, anybody notice a shuffling of the admins? Some things are certainly hard to hide. And a disgruntled administrator is one of them. Brew some Love potion no. 898! It’s not too late to apologize…….And to some lost comrades: it’s been long enough…..you can come back now…….

As we quickly run out of holidays, things are fast beginning to change. And she’s right; a time machine would be nice….My family seems to have grown tired of me already,  I’ve finally compelled myself to hunt out the books I so mercilessly tossed aside a fortnight ago (damn that sub-stage and physio test!), but as I prepared to say good bye to Facebook for a while, something kept dragging me back…..

And when my parents had just about enough of me surfing those navy blue margined pages, my excuse was already made:
“But Mom! I’m copying the syllabus of the sub-stage!”

10 days of freedom. That’s all we want………….every month.

*back to the grind*


Shoot up to the sky. Faster than light.
Straight to the stars.
Then back again. Back to Earth.
Deep in the ground.

Running back and forth.
Between two worlds.
Afraid to stay in one.
Yet longing for the other.

Another One....!

Sis arrived a day after I did.
Of course when she’s home, no one else gets a chance to speak. We just listen. Or pretend to.
And usually it’s just typical stuff about the bloody life of doctors and what not. Trust me, you’re not the only one.
Today was no different.


Went to a wedding today. Mom broke her heel just after arriving so I doubled back and brought another pair for her, thus missing the reception.
The bros were all there. Wedding was of a senior’s sister who’s just passed final year KE.
Met a few people from Multan whom I stayed with when I was there last year.
I had nearly eaten when Dad whisked me off to a case.
Small boy. 6-7 yrs. Lacerated his tongue. Dunno how it happened. From the tip to Ant. Half. Plus his right maxillary central incisor was kinda bent backwards into his palate. Bled profusely they said.
Gave him the anesthetic. Observed. Saw the stitches.
Then there was a GSW. Right hand, so can’t describe anatomically. It was very gross….! Hypothenar Region damaged, He’ll probably get hand of benediction, sis says. No idea what that is.
Getting scrubbed up is ridiculous. Remove everything you’re wearing and then put on loose baggy scrubs.
I timed myself. 28 sec. Too slow, dad said.
When I’m home I don’t feel the least like studying.  O does?
So my laptop and I become more than inseparable at such times. And that, of course, really bugs my parents. To top it all, somehow Mom and Dad learned about Facebook. And since then every minute online has been hell. What with both ov em lookin over ma shoulder.
The scheming, evil mind I possess however provided me with an ingenious solution. I made them their own accounts.
It’s working. Superbly 